Church is great. JFL is great. Nonetheless, somehow it all feels different. But why?

Let’s think about it. Chinese school had always been a major part of my life, but I’m the only one left from my old class who’s actively involved in JFL now. Others have moved on to college or are simply unable to make it to JFL things, whether it’s extreme senior year busy-ness, transportation issues, or a combination of both. I remember when a nice percentage of JFL was our actual class. Now, in JFL I spend time with people I didn’t really grow up with— although there are some exceptions to this, but even so, none of them were in my Chinese class for years. (Please note that this doesn’t mean that I’m unhappy with the people active now. It’s just that I don’t happen to know them as well, although I am certainly trying my best to do so.) And so, I miss these people.

I believe George once talked about how SHINE, ye olde youth group at MSHJ, gradually disappeared as all its members moved on, since there was no one to fill in the gap in generations before JFL and even WAC were organized. He said that it was only natural that eventually JFL would, one day, meet the same fate. Is this what I’m seeing here? Am I feeling this way because the twelfth grade (or maybe even with the eleventh grade) at church is the final, dying flicker of the candle flame of our generation there? I think this is possible.

But at the same time, although my generation at church may be dying out, JFL itself may not be, at least for now. I think we currently have enough people to keep it going. We may not have all grown up together in the same way as it used to be for me, and so we may just have to work harder towards unity. This needs to be done, but it’s not impossible. However, whether or not JFL will survive its upcoming trials, as the whole original generation of JFL completely fades out, is still to be seen. I definitely pray and hope that it will indeed successfully survive.

Wannie also suggested another explanation for everything being different. Maybe it was moving to a new church building in a completely different area (to some extent) without a Wendy’s right next to it, nor a Lollicup or Taiwan Café. We used to always walk to Wendy’s after CCD and before Chinese school. Always. Well, sometimes we walked for around ten minutes to Lollicup and ate there instead. But in any case, the old church in itself was a source of unity. Many of us had grown up going there every week since we were very little. And, again, there was Chinese school, which was likewise jostled around as a result of moving to a new location. Sources of unity that used to be commonly present have become nonexistent for us, other than residing nostalgically in our memories. Add to this that students as well as— I almost forgot— awesome adult leaders have gotten older and can no longer be with us or devote all their time to guide us like they used to.

Thus, it’s become hard for JFL to keep moving on, yet we keep trying.

On a related note, it’s been a little awkward as senior at church because I still remember when I would listen and learn from the first JFL officer meetings, years ago, and now, suddenly I’m up here, and that’s me, and I need to do the same good job…

Ah, well, I need to wake up early tomorrow morning to go to church as I always do, and so I need to sleep. Good night. =)